QUESTION 001 - The Discovery

Write a narrative (story) based on the idea of “A discovery”.

Your story may be about a new scientific discovery. It may be the discovery of a hidden secret or a hidden place. It may be the discovery of traits in someone who you thought you knew well.

Put thought into how you will:


The Case of the Stolen Diamonds
by VK

I gasped. The case for the stolen diamonds may finally be cracked. I stood up from my desk, my police badge gleaming in the light. My utility belt shook on my waist like it was vibrating, as I made my way to the garage.

“Officer! Where are you going?” Sergeant Roy asked me. “I think we may have a lead on our case,” I replied. “What sort of lead?” Roy asked again. “A map to where the criminal base is,” I replied, grinning.

We zoomed through the streets, the police siren filling the air. We turned down Mikelham Street and stopped by a looming warehouse. We got out of the car and stealthily made our way to the front of the warehouse. There was a door, whiter than blank paper.

On the count of three, we were to smash the door open. Three. We held our breath. Two. We wondered what was inside. One. I braced to hit the door. SMASH!! And on a table lay a handful of diamonds.


Word count: 170
submitted about 6 years ago

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1 solution

Rank

Total score: 7 / 10

Based on this score, we consider this essay to be average for the exam.

Major Weak Points


Ideas

Related to the prompt - 4.0 / 10

0% - 20% of the piece related to the question or prompt in terms of length.

Audience

Length of piece - 4.0 / 10

Piece less than 200 words or greater than 450 words.

Tone creation and balance - 5.0 / 10

Piece has approximately 90:10 mix of showing: telling sentences or vice versa & give take 10 percentage points on either side.

Stylistic devices - 6.0 / 10

1-2 stylistic devices used do not enhance the piece OR have been used incorrectly.

Character and setting

Character development and description - 5.0 / 10

1 or more characters developed LESS than 50% of the time




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